All saints day ......

Halloween, All saints day and the day of the dead, all on the same weekend. i can't help but close my eyes and see the lives lived in the ages gone by. To thank those past generations for the work they poured into this planet. We know history holds many disasters, but the positive souls do not live their lives in vain.

It brings me comfort to think of the human journey: the diversity and versatility that has unraveled from those early peoples bold steps into the unknown. We can keep the journey moving; keep investigating and embracing the unfamiliar, not fearing the ultimate possibilities that challenge our knowledge and beliefs.

shedding skin ............

shedding the layers to get deeper,

to go beyond borders,

stepping away from shelter.

this skin no longer fits,

it feels tight and i need to grow,

i am closed up and i need to breath.

peeling away the layers

that disguise the heart and soul

keeping it hidden from the world.

our skin is our main layer of protection, wrapping up all our delicate and intricate organs, bones and tissue. It is the most dicernable part of ourselves- what is seen and touched. At times it is all we know of ourselves, not able to perceive all that it keeps guarded.

It is the boundary between the inner and outer environment. to know what lies inside can seem impossible. The senses seem suited for experiencing the external. we cannot touch,hear or see our internal landscape, not in the automatic way we do with our surroundings.

but consciously we can explore that which is within us: those physical, emotional and mental aspects that are never seen, but constantly being affected and having affect on the outside world around us.

your shadow will always be there...............

feeling engulfed by some sort of darkness,

a shade that doesnt seem to let the light in,

always attached to this gloomy presence.

but it keeps it distance, it stand behind

so i shall not fear this shadow it need not take the colour out of life.

monk mentality.................

I am not religious, not in an orthodox sense, but the devout have trust and they have patience, and a little more of these attributes would do me some good.

I am searching to sense that inner peace, to lessen the grip of my fickle constitution. I know this is possible because i have had moments of complete joy, amongst the aggravations sensed in the body.

But alot of the time i torment myself by dwelling on the obstacles i face, missing the many opportunities right before me. Amongst my anger and anxiety i forget to have faith in myself and all that is around.

Aggression can be very subtle, especially when directed towards ourselves. So many times we do not realise we are being unhelpful; unfair, unkind. So many times we are unaware of the calamities we are enforcing.

We have to learn to promote the peace, and love we deserve for ourselves, so that we truly know what it is and can recognise it in the world around us.

fictitious thoughts...............

The mind makes me weary. I sit quietly and here its skittish ramblings. Where do they come from? The energy they are taking, the distractions they cause. My body and heart neglected when i start to listen too closely.

Jumping nonsense; illusions that warp reality. What a fuss they can cause when i indulge them. Time to not let them speak so loudly, so i can absorbs the present moment, learn and find my way more through the motion of doing rather than thinking.


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Needing a guide........

Maybe far too much of a romantic gesture to speak of guardian angels, and ancestors watching out for our human souls. But to wish for some kind of guidance is not too far fetched.

Just constant little signs that i am moving forward though my body still feels stuck. Just feeling grounded when everything is up in the air. Just to be able to trust.

For i do not know where the madness inside begins, but the notion of unrest seeps everywhere. Body and mind tense and tormented. i try to forget, but i am forgetting what it feels like to feel any other way.

All that i built fell away, so i am starting from scratch, but with no steady foundations and so many peices missing, it is hard. So i ask for a little assistance, to help me rebuild my life, even though i feel like i am still falling apart.

Opening the heart...........

Its takes courage to open up the heart-all is exposed.

The mind can be a camouflage. We can hide behind a forged persona, barricade our truth deep inside that not even ourselves get to see it.

We become experts at thinking, but lose the ability to feel, afraid of experiencing our emotions, not wanting to know the turmoil they can create, taking us away from our safe and predictable living habits.

The heart is fragile and must be embraced. It yearns for love to nurture the pain that it feels from its natural sense of compassion. We are responsible for its safety. We must show it the love it desires, so that it is not harmed by sorrows and sentiments.

It may not be comfortable to live without the caution of the sceptical mind, but i want to try. I want to unwrap the safety blankets of the mind as they are suffocating me with illusions and doubt. It is time to face the naked truth that is held in the heart.