Sunday, 23 May 2010

Transformation: living and waiting.........

i have not written for a long time because it was time to stop thinking, to stop waiting for life to move me forward and to start to move myself onwards. understanding when i need to take action, be a life activist and when to be passive in waiting and letting things be is something i am trying to get to grips with in this thing called life.
part of me knows that a lot of our human errors come from the mind trying to control the body,and dominate our experiences. but i also am beginning to except that the mind is very much part of consciousness and it is a mistake to view at something totally flawed and dysfunctional.
as an emotional person if i was to abandon all abilities to rationalise and objectify then the demands of my emotions would reek havoc on my body, relationships and everything else. rationality has no right to suppress emotions, but maybe help calm them.
the thing with the mind is when consumed in too much thinking, we procrastinate and life moves while we fester in constant mind dialogue. even without thought if we just sit and wait, we can fall asleep, and without our eyes open just not see what we need to do for ourselves.
the word transformation can seem so big and idealist, but it happens everyday. we shed our skin, our cells regenerate, we subtly evolve. maybe it still does sound too romantic as we are always moving closer to the day we die. but that is the pattern of life.
i know that if i can find a way to be more content, more trusting in life's path then maybe i could see these changes. yes there are endless cycles which at times i feel stuck in, but nothing is ever the same, something has changed, something is different.

Friday, 26 February 2010

tears in a bucket....

raining, raining, rain these tears of vain.......

water the flowers with this ocean of tears
cool the burning fire of fears

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

rain but, no rainbow.....

rain is falling but it just feels so grey.
no rainbow to bring magic to the clouds
just damp and meek.

sometimes that is the way things are. The darkness has invaded, hidden all the light and starts feeling permanent. but the sun is always there behind the clouds and when we cant see it, or feel its warmth, envision its glow.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

angels again..............

When worries start to take their toll, and life is overwhelming, child visions are my comfort. feeling caged in modern mayhem, i have to retreat to my imagination. the torment eases and my anxious heart finds a peaceful rhythm.
habitual harsh judgements, sadness and fear fade when i think of someone watching. just standing there patiently waiting. it is my personification of compassion.

Friday, 8 January 2010

heart felt..........

Love belongs to the heart.
love is an emotion, something felt in the body, just like joy and sadness. The mystics talk of its power of transformation, the alchemy of love and compassion.
Love belongs to the heart.
We think we are familiar with love, but usually it is just the notions of love, ... usually only romantic love at that.
Love belongs to the heart.
We care for loved ones, but we cannot feel love for them. Our hearts wrapped tight in layers of other emotions. Anger, worry- usually the symptons of love covered in fear and sadness.
Love belongs to the heart.
We are desperately searching for love, to see it in others. we tire ourselves looking for this enigmatic energy, nervous to miss it, to lose it once we experience it.
Love belongs to the heart.
We will find it nowhere else but in our own hearts. It is always there, just rarely felt because it is hidden.
Love belongs to the heart.
it will not damage us, make us crazy, make us foolish or jealous. that is not love, that is what we have to dig through; that is our insecurities and our attachments-just guises of love.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

detaching from the inner demons and dramas............

The worries, and inner torment rarely belong to the present moment. It is my body and mind being tangled up in done deeds of the past and untold actions of the future. What do i do about these restless wanderings that yo yo me back and forth, making me wobble when i try to get some stillness.
i have to detach from dramas that seem to continuously play within. whatever dysfunction that may be going on in the body and the mind, will consume all of me only if i let it. To fight or resist it only creates more conflict. i will just step away peacefully, just let it be, and when it all starts to move towards me and engulf me again, i will keep walking away.
i will not stop and let it suffocate me, nor will i run from it in fear. but it is time to move forward and stop the exhausting cycles that bring back stale feelings, provoke poor bodily habits and keep me trapped.
A new year, a new decade.........