Needing a guide........

Maybe far too much of a romantic gesture to speak of guardian angels, and ancestors watching out for our human souls. But to wish for some kind of guidance is not too far fetched.

Just constant little signs that i am moving forward though my body still feels stuck. Just feeling grounded when everything is up in the air. Just to be able to trust.

For i do not know where the madness inside begins, but the notion of unrest seeps everywhere. Body and mind tense and tormented. i try to forget, but i am forgetting what it feels like to feel any other way.

All that i built fell away, so i am starting from scratch, but with no steady foundations and so many peices missing, it is hard. So i ask for a little assistance, to help me rebuild my life, even though i feel like i am still falling apart.

Opening the heart...........

Its takes courage to open up the heart-all is exposed.

The mind can be a camouflage. We can hide behind a forged persona, barricade our truth deep inside that not even ourselves get to see it.

We become experts at thinking, but lose the ability to feel, afraid of experiencing our emotions, not wanting to know the turmoil they can create, taking us away from our safe and predictable living habits.

The heart is fragile and must be embraced. It yearns for love to nurture the pain that it feels from its natural sense of compassion. We are responsible for its safety. We must show it the love it desires, so that it is not harmed by sorrows and sentiments.

It may not be comfortable to live without the caution of the sceptical mind, but i want to try. I want to unwrap the safety blankets of the mind as they are suffocating me with illusions and doubt. It is time to face the naked truth that is held in the heart.

Rest and relaxation................

Sometimes its just about a feeling of normality,
being able to just get on with the day, with its currents of activity.

Other times its a powerful release, a dormant mind and awakened body, that i yearn for.

A day can be most peaceful when filled with many small and simple moments of action and rest. nothing too demanding and nothing too dull, just free and flexible. Like the typical weekend i suppose.

These days are precious because they are times of just going with the flow, of being content with the ordinary. There are routines and chores, amongst moments of leisure,. the mind is quiet and the body at ease as things get done at our own chosen pace.

I celebrate days like these, they really do fulfill me. A strand of minor achievements that provide an huge sense of worth. These humble days are often taken for granted, but as life feels quite messy, it are these times i most appreciate.

Yet as sensual beings often feeling burdened by complex emotions there is the constant desire to thrill or numb the senses. So Life becomes crammed full with anything and everything to help us escape from ourselves.

To be able to lose oursleves in these pleasures is vital but does nothing for us if we can never find the joy in the regular and everyday insignificant happenings.

Good bye to the summer......

I am in awe of the summer months,
for nature is so alive and vibrant,
its joys penetrate my flesh and blood.
But i see the colours fading
and the darkness creeping in.
The seasons are changing,
autumn is about to begin.

As the autumn equinox draws close, i want to celebrate the passing time and seasonal cycle, but my reliance on the sun has never been more apparent than in these last few months. I have always been a summer child and never more joyful than during the summer months. I would have abundant energy and fell enthused by the uplifted atmosphere. The season felt short and i resented autumn's sudden appearance.

This year it is not resentment that i have to admit to, fear. i am scared that my body will want to hibernate during this time and that my enduring spirit will retreat. Winter is a inimical time where only the most robust thrive. Everything else in nature is absent until the heat of the sun can be felt again.

i do not have the vigor to fight against the season like so many of us do, but i cannot afford to resign completely to it's eminent presence. It still must be a time of rejuvenation, a time to reclaim life's essence.

whisperings of a tree...............

"oh tree i want to be grounded like you, to have strong roots so in touch with the earth and to have soft branches reaching for the sky. With age you get stronger and tougher, your bark gets more beautiful, your leaves more textured and coloured."

" Dear girl i may look big and mighty, but do not be deluded in your moment of awe. i too am delicate; if the wind blows too strong it can take all my leaves, snap off my branches, knock me right down. But the grass at my feet, that no one stops to admire. that grass that has no dense trunk, no staggering height, yet it can withstand the wind. so remember this my friend - that which seems feeble has great resilience."