Caught up in the waves of emotion and bodily sensations,
i can feel like i am drowning.......
But little by little i practice to float amongst the white horses and choppy waters,
I find space and rest though the mind and body are cluttered and busy.
i long for fusion, for balance, for sensing that bead of peace amongst the turmoil. i know that is must be possible because there would be no awareness of torment without knowing contentment.
So it is not that i ask for ignorant bliss or constant calmness, for rigid monotony is as draining to the soul as extreme vagary.
I ask for both unity and detachment,
To step away when the body and mind seem oversensitive and hysterical-
To embrace them from a distance.
And though i feel frequently stuck swinging in states of polarity,
i wait patiently for the internal friction to subside and for the opposing sides of my nature to realise there cannot be one without the other.
working seperartely they are fractured, and incomplete,
things are lop sided and i become dizzy,
the wind blows and i fall.
working together and i can feel whole,
i am centred and stronger,
wind howling, and i am still standing.
i have found equanimity.